Stuck in the Middle_ Finances, Family and Finding Freedom

In this episode of "Nickels and Dimes," host Natalie Kime explores the financial struggles of the sandwich generation, those supporting both aging parents and children. She discusses common challenges like outliving savings, unexpected care costs, debt, and guilt, while sharing statistics on the group’s stress. Natalie offers practical strategies, including purposeful budgeting, insurance protection, retirement saving, legacy planning, and seeking financial help. Emphasizing self-care and small, actionable steps, she encourages listeners to take control of their finances, providing hope and guidance for those feeling overwhelmed by multigenerational responsibilities.

• Financial challenges faced by the sandwich generation
• Emotional and financial stress related to caregiving responsibilities
• Statistics on the financial strain experienced by caregivers
• Major financial concerns: outliving retirement savings, unexpected care costs, debt, and budget strain
• The impact of emotional guilt on financial decision-making
• The absence of a clear financial roadmap for managing competing demands
• Practical strategies for financial management and empowerment
• Importance of budgeting with purpose and prioritizing protection through insurance
• Encouragement to save for retirement, even in small amounts
• The value of seeking financial help and education for better decision-making

Get my FREE Financial Check-up Guide

Connect with me on:
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn

Transcript

0:03

Imagine this. Your phone rings. It's your mom. Her prescription costs have gone up again, and she's not sure how she's going to cover it. While you're still on the call, your email pings and it's your kid's college tuition bill due in two weeks. You sit there thinking, how am I supposed to take care of them and still save for me? This is the reality of the sandwich generation. People like you and me who are caring for aging parents while still raising or supporting kids. You're stuck in the middle. Pulled in two directions, and sometimes it feels like you're disappearing into the process. Today I'm going to talk about the top financial struggles the sandwich generation is facing. Why it feels so overwhelming, and practical strategies that you can use right now to find relief, protect your future, and still care for the people you love. So if you've ever thought I don't even know where to start, this episode is for you. Welcome to Nickels and Dimes. My name is Natalie Kime. I am your host of this show. And today I'm doing a solo episode talking about the things that pop out in my own life as a member of the sandwich generation. The things I'm trying to balance, learn, grow within, and still show up well for other people. And I just think this messaging is so important for people out there, because every time I share information about being a caretaker, still planning for my own retirement, and helping my son who is getting his feet underneath him as an adult in the world, I find out there's so many people I'm connected to who are in the same situation. And I always think, look, if people like me are struggling in silence, I need to put a voice to this so they feel like they can do the same. So let's start by putting some numbers to what you're feeling. What is the weight of the sandwich generation? According to Pew Research, about 1 in 5 Americans is in the sandwich generation, 20% of us. And here's the kicker. Over 70% report feeling financially stressed. With nearly half saying that they're struggling to meet basic expenses because they're stretched so thin. Air estimates caregivers spend an average of $7,200 a year out of their own pockets, caring for aging parents. And if you're raising kids at the same time, that number can double. Or even more. No wonder it feels overwhelming. You're not just juggling the schedules. You're juggling bank accounts, debt, health care, college tuition. You're emotionally carrying guilt on both sides. Guilt for not doing enough for your parents, guilt for not doing enough for your kids, and guilt for not saving enough for yourself. So what are some of the top concerns we're facing? Let's break them down. These are the five biggest struggles I hear over and over again from people in our shoes, or that I'm facing over and over again myself. The number one concern outliving your money. And this is definitely a concern of mine. Even though I'm well on my way to setting myself up and creating a legacy alongside that, it's still a concern that I have. Which is a good thing, because it means you're staying focused on an area that is important to you and that matters. And when you stay focused on the area, you continue to grow. Look for information, gather details, and take action on them. But when it comes to outliving our money, retirement at times can feel like a fantasy. We're putting everything into everybody else, and our own future feels like it's slipping away. The fear of being broke at 70 or 80 is real. Now, I shared on social media last week a video where I. I addressed this specifically. We have, and we are Americans working 30, 40, 50 years in somebody else's company as an employee, only to get to the end of our career and looking forward to retirement and wondering how we're going to make it work. We're taught to lean on Social Security and Medicare, but the truth is, oftentimes it's just not enough. And so that overwhelm, that heaviness weighs so huge on us or looms ahead of us as we get closer to retirement. That's why it's so important to have these conversations. If you don't know what to do, reach out. I'd love to have a conversation with you and not just tell you what options are available, but actually show you what those look like and show you with what you have in place already. How close you are to where you want to be. So bridging that gap and showing you a way that you can close it in the time you have left to prepare your own retirement while still showing up. Well, for the other people that you care about. We're facing unexpected care costs as well as parents get sick, they need home care or moves to assisted living, and suddenly we're still staring down bills in the thousands a month, according to Genoa's Cost of Care Survey survey. The national average for a private room in a nursing home is over $9,000 a month. Without planning, that wipes out savings fast. I talk to people all the time about the importance of life insurance with living benefits, and a lot of times I'm talking to people in their late 40s or their early to mid 50s and their like, life insurance makes sense for me now to get my own independent plan. Isn't it more expensive? Well, yeah, it is more expensive in your 40s and 50s than it was in your 20s and 30s. But here's why it's so important you work so hard to save up for that retirement, or your loved one who is in retirement. Work so hard to save for that. But one medical emergency or one big diagnosis can completely wipe out their retirement. And then what? And then what? That's where life insurance that includes living benefits comes into play. The ability to access your death benefit while you're still alive, to cover those diagnoses, and the costs that come along with them to cover the need for home health or a nursing home in the future, you're tapping into your death benefit while you're still alive, so that you're not draining the savings that covers your everyday living expenses. The next concern I hear a lot about is debt and budget strain. Now, this was a big focus of mine coming into this industry. I had some debt I needed to tackle. It wasn't crazy, but I still had some debt that I wanted to tackle, and I wanted to find ways to build an increase. Not just my income, but my wealth overall. So the next emergency was covered. Or even as time went by, both my needs and my wants could be taken care of. We're paying for our kids activities, maybe still covering student loans, maybe a mortgage, and then a credit card balance creeps up. This is something people today are facing every time they turn around. Inflation is up. People are losing jobs. They don't have enough in in an emergency savings, or they've already wiped it out and something else comes up. And so we're leaning on our credit cards. We're we're we don't know what other options there are or we don't have any in place. And so we've got to do what we've got to do to get by. According to the Federal Reserve, the average American household carries about $7,900 in credit card debt right now, and interest rates are at all time historic highs. Then you've got guilt and prioritizing prioritization. I should put my kids before myself. I should put my parents before myself or my aunt or whoever you may be caring for that's elderly or already in retirement. Every dollar feels like a choice. Do I use it for their care or my own retirement? And guess what usually gets cut? Our retirement savings. That's what needs to change. Budgeting and making sure that you're setting yourself up for success. Setting boundaries around your money, but finding ways to to still show up and support those you care about most. And then lack of a roadmap. Most people in the sandwich generation tell me the same thing. I don't even know where to start. There's no playbook for this. So you end up living in survival mode instead of strategy mode. Here's what I want you to hear loud and clear. Let's reframe the struggle. Because caring for your loved ones does not mean sacrificing your own future. Think about it like an airplane rule. You put your own oxygen mask on first and then help others. If you burn yourself out financially, you won't be able to sustain anyone. I've worked with families who felt hopeless drowning in expenses. And once we shift their perspective, started protecting themselves first. Putting a plan in place they realize they still could care for their parents, still could provide for their kids, and carve out a retirement that gave them dignity and freedom. Because isn't that the goal? Again, we work 30, 40, 50 years to build up a retirement. We shouldn't be stepping into it with fear and the weight of debt, of lack of income weighing us down and on our shoulders. We should be stepping into retirement with joy and excitement for everything that it brings. So here's some practical strategies for relief and empowerment. It is okay to step back or slow down so you can move forward or go faster with better direction and guidance. So let's get into the practical. Here's five strategies you can start working on right now. Number one budget with purpose. Print your bank statement. Highlight every dollar you spend eating out at Starbucks and Amazon at the gas station. Those little leaks, that little drink here, that coffee there, that whatever it is you get from Amazon because they got everything right. They add up sometimes to the tune of hundreds of dollars a month. So once you know those numbers in each of those categories, ask yourself, could I just cut this in half? And then if you cut that in half, redirect it into savings or a debt payoff, depending on what your situation is, maybe even put it into an account that is investing and growing your money with protection attached so you can't lose it that way. It'll be there in the future when you need it most. Number two, protection is a priority. Set up your own safeguards. That means life insurance that I talked about previously. Emergency funds, disability coverage, those living benefits. Why? Because the biggest financial collapses happen when families aren't protected. I'm starting to really talk to clients about end of life coverage as well. So final expense policies that are smaller life insurance policies, but they pay out within 20 to 20 4 to 48 hours. So when a loved one passes away, you get access to that money right away. Because a traditional life insurance policy can still take 30 to 90 days to pay out. And if that's the case, you've got funeral expenses to cover. How do you do that? Those final expense policies can fill in those gaps and avoid having to utilize GoFundMe. Retirement is still possible for everyone, even if you can only put away $200 a month. Compound interest works like magic. For example, saving $200 a month at a 7% return over 25 years grows about $163,000. Yeah, you're starting small, but start now. And you may think, what if I don't have 25 years? Then we look at ways. Can we find additional money where you're putting $500 a month away and it's protected so that when you get to that retirement place, you can create what's called a lifetime income to ensure you never run out of money. Legacy planning this one is so important. I had this conversation with some friends and family members that came over yesterday. We did a big family brunch and spent the day together and it was amazing. But we got into this conversation about legacy planning. It is so important to make sure, first and foremost, you're teaching your kids financial responsibility early. And if you don't know how to do that, there are so many resources available. You can find a ton of information through Google on social media. But then who do you trust? Well, you know what? Reach out to me. I would be happy to send you some great resources and even support you in providing that education to your kids so that they have the right information They're starting out with a leg up. Talk about money openly in your home. You don't have to dive deep. You don't have to talk about how much debt you're in and how stressed out you are. But maybe share the lessons you're learning, going through whatever you are today or something you've gone through financially in the past. And then for your parents, have those tough conversations now about long term care wills and how they want to be cared for. And that was the piece I was talking to with my friends and family yesterday. Making sure that you have things set up in a way that it avoids probate, and additional expense and stress for your family members once you're no longer here, making sure you designate how you want things to be allocated and time frames to those if you want to put time frames on them. But just making sure everything is buttoned up, it's controlled the way that you want it, and it's as stress free as possible for your loved ones. Because if they're dealing with trying to navigate your finances, what you left behind with no direction and guidance, it can get really messy. And it can also. It can also block their opportunity or get in the way of them properly grieving, which is a really important process when you lose a loved one and how they want to be cared for. A trust provides a will. It provides health care directive, it provides powers of attorney. All of those things you can need to help structure that according to your loved ones wishes, so that you don't have to be trying to make that decision and hope it was the right one, a burden that none of us want to have to carry. And then number five, you guys is ask for help. You don't have to figure this out alone. Financial education and coaching exist for this exact reason. It is why I got into this industry, because once I learned what I did for myself, I wanted to share it every opportunity I got. But I can't sit with every single person that needs the information. So I started this podcast and I get on other people's podcasts and I share on social media because this information is so important. It's why so many people, this is one of the fastest growing industries in the world, financial services, because so many people need this information and because so many people like myself, are passionate about getting proper education and information into people's hands so they can make educated decisions and set themselves up for what they want their future to look like. To help people build a roadmap so you can breathe again. Is it easy? No. Not always. As a matter of fact, probably most of the time not. But is worth it because when you get ready for retirement and your stress free from a financial perspective because you did the work before you got there, it can make all the difference in the world. And another thing I want to say before I round this down for this week's episode, is that you are likely closer than you think because of how compound interest works and the products that are available. It is easier than you think to build the wealth you need to retire well. It's a lack of information. Ignorance because we don't have that information keeps us from making decisions. But every day you wait to make decisions or take action or find out what you need to do, even if it's not the best news. It's that much more time you lose. And that time is everything when it comes to planning financially for your future. So here's the truth. You don't have to choose between caring for your parents, your kids, and yourself. You can build a plan that honors all three. The sandwich generation is carrying a heavy load, but with the right financial strategies, you don't have to live in survival mode. You can reclaim, control, find relief, and build a future that you're proud of. If this episode resonated with you, here's my challenge. Take one step today. Print out your bank statement. Have that conversation with your parents or start that small savings account. Sit your kids down and talk to them about credit or a lesson you learn around your finances. Just one small step today to start yourself moving in the direction that you want and need to go. If you need a roadmap, I would love to help. Please reach out. Share your story with me. I have heard them all and I have lived many of them myself. It's one of the things I feel like I do that's maybe different than a lot of financial people. I will tell you my own financial struggle, because I want you to understand that you're not alone. I want you to understand that there are people on that same journey more than you realize. And from there, we can build a plan that fits your life, your goals, and your dreams. Because what I want for the future doesn't really matter if we're talking about you. Let's figure out what's most important to you and build a plan that supports that. Also, please share this episode with a friend who's also in the sandwich generation, somebody who might be struggling with the same things you are, or one of these other things I've talked about that might be different than you. You don't have to walk this road alone. I'm here to walk it with you. I'm here to give you information along the way. And I'm going to help you find your way to financial success. If you're willing to step into the ring with me, we can get there together. I hope you guys have an amazing week. I am going to be branching out on these topics in the next few episodes. So if something in this episode called out to you and you're just not ready to take that step yet, come back and listen to the next 2 or 3 episodes where I dive a little deeper into these topics, and maybe I can answer some of those questions and give you some additional direction, or just make you feel more comfortable about reaching out so we can have a conversation. As always, I'm grateful that you joined me for this week's episode. I look forward to seeing you again next week, and continuing the journey of helping you to reach financial freedom on your terms. Until then, take care and stay safe.