Introducing The "5 F's of Caretaking" Series: A Lifeline for Caregivers Facing Emotional and Financial Strain

In this episode of "Chat with Nat: Conversations That Count," Nat launches her "5 F's of Caretaking Series," a six-part exploration of the realities of caring for loved ones. Drawing from her own experience supporting her aging parents, Nat introduces the five pillars—Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness, and Fun—that helped her navigate the emotional, physical, and financial challenges of caretaking. With honest stories and practical advice, Nat offers support, strategies, and hope for current and future caretakers, emphasizing the importance of planning, self-care, and finding moments of joy amidst hardship.

What you'll hear:

• Introduction to a six-part series on caretaking.
• Personal experiences of caretaking for aging parents, including challenges faced during a health crisis.
• Emotional, physical, mental, and financial impacts of caretaking.
• Introduction of the "five F's" framework: Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness, and Fun.
• Importance of financial planning to alleviate stress during caregiving.
• The role of family support in reducing caregiver burnout.
• The significance of prioritizing personal health and fitness for caregivers.
• The necessity of incorporating joy and humor into the caregiving experience.
• Building structured support systems to manage caregiving responsibilities effectively.
• Encouragement for caretakers to seek help and resources to navigate their journey.

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Transcript

0:03

Hey friends, welcome back to chat with Nat conversations that count where we talk real life, real money, and real strategies to build wealth without worry, even when life doesn't go according to plan. Today's episode is brought to you by Casa de Confidence Productions. Julie and Dan Collins are an absolute powerhouse dual who help podcasters like me show up confident, clear, and professional every single week. If you've ever thought I have something to say but I don't know how to start a podcast, I'm going to urge you to check them out at Cassidy Confidence website and see what's possible. I am starting a new series for y'all that is all based around being a caretaker, and while I chose to be a caretaker, it's something I always wanted to do for my parents at some point when they needed me. There is so much unknown uncontrollable about this process. And so while I had plans to become a caretaker, I can't plan every aspect of it. There's no handbook, no warning label, no timeline. One day I'm building my business, chasing my goals, dreaming about the future. And the next day my parents need me. What I had planned for was suddenly here instead of someday down the road. And amidst this journey, this process, this experience of being a caretaker, there are still so many unknowns, unpredictable things and the timing. There is no timing. It happens when it happens. So here I was, cruising along in November, maintaining things as I had for the last three and a half years. My parents have lived with me and I've been a caretaker, and suddenly I go from what my plans were the last two weeks of the year to everything flipping upside down, slowing down and speeding up at the same time. Having to analyze information that's being thrown at me by doctors, by professionals and balance that with what I wanted, what I knew my mom wanted. So I went from going through my daily flow, planning to have a strong last two weeks of the year, two and a half weeks of the year, to calling 911 and having my mom transported to the hospital, and the last two and a half weeks of the year being completely different and in many ways out of my control, but also that being a huge blessing and how I look at moving forward. So my apologies if that sounded confusing. This series. Uh, it's going to be a six episode series. This is the introduction episode for it, and it's really speaking to caretakers. Whether you are one, plan to be one or find yourself a caretaker at some point in the future, I hope this series can serve you well on maybe setting some expectations, maybe understanding what caretaking does and doesn't look like, or what you can and can't control through the process. I went from having a plan for the last two weeks of the year to literally sleeping in hospital chairs and learning very quickly how strong I actually was, and how to advocate for myself and my mom at a level I hadn't had to do before. So this series is born out of one of the hardest weeks of my life, and the five things that carried me through when everything felt like it was falling apart, when I felt like I had no control. So this series is all about the five F's of caretaking. How the five F's I talk about all the time saw me through. Because the truth is, caretaking doesn't hit just one part of your life. It hits everything, and it's not something that you always see coming. It's definitely not something that you can control. So my money. Top topic my money tip for this week. Before I jump into the outline of what you can expect in this series and the things that I want to talk about, the importance of the five F's and how they play into it is crisis is expensive and planning ahead can help to reduce panic. Caretaking isn't just emotional, it can be financially disruptive. According to the AARP, more than 38 million Americans are unpaid caregivers, over 60% report financial strain, and nearly 1 in 4 caregivers say that caregiving has made their own financial situation worse. Here's what most people don't realize. Caretakers often reduce work hours or leave the workforce entirely out of pocket. Medical, transportation and home care costs can add up really fast. Emergencies force decisions to happen, and decisions made in a panic are usually very expensive. Planning ahead doesn't remove the pain, but it does remove the panic. When you have emergency cash. Proper insurance, clear roles and expectations, and a plan for if not when something changes, you can buy yourself options and options. Create peace. This series is about giving you clarity before crisis, not after. So let's jump in to this overview episode for this series that's coming in five parts after this. Why does care taking hit every area of life at once because caretaking isn't a role. It is a all encompassing thing that you do if you're a caretaker. It's a full system shock. Emotionally, you're processing grief, fear, and responsibility. Simultaneously. Physically, you're losing sleep. You're increasing stress. Home hormones and adrenaline becomes your baseline. Mentally, decision fatigue sets in fast and financially. Income, expenses and priorities can shift overnight. Research shows caregivers experience higher rates of anxiety and depression than non caregivers, with nearly 40% reporting high emotional stress. Caretaking doesn't ask for permission. It demands capacity, and most people aren't prepared for how wide that demand stretches. Now again, I chose to be a caretaker for my parents. It's something I've wanted to be able to do when they needed me for a very long time. And yet the capacity that it demands, even in that mindset of choice to care take, is greater than I ever imagined. I didn't choose, I chose to be a caretaker, but I didn't know that choosing that brought so much to the table. I didn't understand the breadth of what caretaking requires in general, but what it would require for me each and every day and when things shift unexpectedly. So I want to introduce you guys to the five F framework for caretaking. How I've applied those five F's that I talk about all the time that I utilize in my life in general, specifically to caretaking, to this journey and to the the recent transition that we've had with my mom. I didn't just go to a book or look something up online and just pick this framework from some somewhere. I actually lived it. And when everything else felt unstable, these five areas held me up or revealed where I needed support, which is not an easy place for me to go to. I am stubborn, I am a believer that I can figure it out, that I'm strong enough, and while I still believe those things. The week before Christmas, when my mom was in the hospital, I was forced to realize that even in being strong, even in figuring it out, there are places that not only did I need support, it's imperative to ask for it. Because I. I was weak in some points. I was weak while also stepping forward in strength and and if you are a caretaker, you know what I'm talking about when I say that. So let me start with the first F, which is faith. What anchors me? Faith is what holds me steady when answers are unclear. Faith looks like surrender. When all control is gone. Faith becomes my decision filter when emotions are high. And faith gives meanings to moments that don't yet make sense. Studies show individuals with spiritual grounding experience lower stress levels and higher resilience during prolonged caregiving. Faith doesn't remove the storm. It keeps you from being swept away by it. And let me give you an example of that. So how the week before Christmas started. It was Monday morning. My mom. Really now looking back, we we can see clearly and in working with especially her PCP, who is a godsend. Um, her decline really started the week before Thanksgiving and the week of Thanksgiving. It was very apparent something was going on. Now, if you are a caretaker and it's not just memory care, as people get older, they can get really extreme reactions to. Things you don't realize are going on. And let me give an example. Earlier this spring, my mom started getting a little combative, and we did notice she was stepping into the phase of dementia where she was having delusions and hallucinations. She would be talking about people being there that weren't really, well, really there she would be reacting to conversations that we couldn't hear, but that she was experiencing. And we adjusted medications at that time. But we also found out her blood pressure was really skyrocketing. And so while that did require adjustments and medications, we also found out that her blood pressure was skyrocketing because of a UTI, an infection, and that can have drastic impacts to moods, to the way people behave that you wouldn't expect in older individuals. Um, and so we went through that process. We got things settled down. But this time in November, leading into Thanksgiving, it was the level of combativeness and aggression physically from my mom prior, it had really been verbal. Now it became very physical and it was scary trying to figure out how to separate my dad from situations so he wouldn't be hurt. Protect my mom so she wouldn't hurt herself or us. Trying to control a situation wouldn't create, hurt or harm for her and also myself. My mom is incredibly strong in spite of the fact that she's declining. And so I found myself on the Monday morning, not just before Christmas, the week prior to that. I don't know what day it was, but with navigating through a very combative and aggressive instance with my mom, and she had basically sat herself down onto the floor and my mom weighs £195. She is physically fairly healthy and again strong for her condition. And I couldn't get my mom to cooperate. And she was talking about things that and had been for the month prior since Thanksgiving. Now, after Thanksgiving, we'd gotten into our PCP. Let me jump back there real quick, adjusted some meds again, and we were evaluating things. And that brings us to this Monday morning. She was talking about things that really were were making us think that she had a significant infection again. And yet the two visits to get, you know, to get testing done, to find out if we had a UTI again or if something else was going on. Um, she couldn't provide a sample. And so this day, the conversations that were leading to the idea that she probably had a severe UTI again, were there. And because I couldn't get her to physically, physically cooperate, I had to call 911 and have my mom transported so that the hospital could do a urinalysis, could do some testing, could try and help us figure out what was going on. But my mom was so combative that she had to be sedated, to be transported. And this is not an experience. This whole week is not an experience I wish on anyone. And yet I know that I am not alone, that there are so many millions of people out there who are caretakers have experienced this, maybe experiencing something like this right now. And that's really where the importance for me came from in creating this series. And so we found ourselves in the hospital in the emergency room. The hospital was so full, we spent overnight in the emergency room. Everything they were doing to help my mom seemed to be increasing her symptoms and she did not have an infection. Every sign pointed to her having an infection and it wasn't. And so we clearly knew at that point that she was in a significant decline. And medication adjustments, significant medication adjustments needed to be made and medications added. And so as we're going through this process to try and figure it out, it's getting harder and harder. And I'm going to talk in more detail over the next few episodes, but I really wanted to kind of give that detail in this introductory episode, overview episode, whatever you want to call it as I go into these five F's. And so that Monday night, I had to request for my mom to be restrained. And that is nothing that I ever wish on anybody. My dad had my son had taken my dad home to get some rest for the night. My mom and I had been up for almost 24 hours. It's 3 a.m. and they put restraints, soft restraints on my mom. She had pulled her IV out once, almost pulled it out a second time, and we just could not get her settled. And at 3:00 in the morning, I stood over my mom as she looked at me with tears in her eyes and begged me to take the restraints off, and I had to look back in those eyes and tell her no. It is one of the most difficult experiences I have ever gone through. Um, and like I said, not something I would wish on anybody. But I stood over my mom doing the only thing I knew how to do, and that was pray. With tears running down my face that some peace would be found, that we could get answers. That the situation would settle down. And. Meanwhile, throughout this evening, my niece, who is a nurse in Utah, we're in Texas, had been messaging me asking about grandma, how she's doing, what medications they're giving or trying to kind of guide me through the process of what was happening. And so I knew she was on shift. She works, um, nights. And so I knew she was on shift and at about 330 that morning, I was I was at capacity and I pushed the nurse's button, and I asked for somebody to come relieve me so I could step out of the room for a few minutes. Now, again, my mom and I were going on almost 24 hours, um, of being awake, of dealing with this situation. We were both worn out and the nurse came in and took over, and I stepped out of the room and messaged my niece while I was sobbing outside, asking if she had a few minutes, she could call me and luckily she was. She finished with a patient she was helping, and then she called me and just talked me off an emotional ledge and reminded me that everything that was happening was needed to happen in this moment, and that as hard as it was, it was the best situation. And I'm so, so very grateful that as a caretaker, I have a research resource in my niece who is a nurse, to help me understand some things. But also, um, she helped me to make sure that I was advocating for my mom and myself in the best way. And so for me, faith was literal surrender because there was no control left. And when I got off the phone with my niece and I went back into the room and I had gathered myself within a couple of minutes, this young man walks in in his early 20s, and he sits down and the nurse, as the nurse is stepping out, she tells me that he is the hospital sitter, which I didn't even know. This was something that was available, but they had called in a sitter. And usually they're nurses aides that work in the hospital. And he looked at me and he said, it's okay, I've got your mom. She's going to be alright. I need you to go somewhere and get some sleep. And so I was able to come home and get a few hours of sleep, which I desperately needed and was not getting in the hospital. And. I'm so grateful. Looking back now, like I was just praying that something would shift and something was changed, and my idea of what that would be was my mom's temperament was medication was a quick answer solution to what was going on. And the answer to that came in the form of a young man looking at me saying, I've got your mom. Go home and sleep. And so for me, what I realize is. I was not in a place to be making decisions. I was so tired. I was so drained in that moment. But faith becomes a decision filter when emotions are high. Faith gives meaning to moments that don't make sense yet. And that's where I was at that early Tuesday morning. 24 hours into this battle, into this journal journey, into looking into my mom's eyes as she begs me to take the restraints off and having to tell her no, I had nothing physically or mentally left, and I tapped into the only thing I had, and that was my faith. And that was prayer. And the answers came in the form of just a young man telling me, it's okay, that my mom would be alright, and to go get some sleep and come back a little more refreshed. Again, Faith didn't remove the storm for me, but it kept me from being swept away by it. And I don't know what it is that you believe. Um, but whatever faith you have. In moments of desperation. I hope you you lean on that, because I feel like that is the only thing that got me through that night. And there's so much more to the story that will come out through this series. But for me, in that moment of desperation, not knowing what else to do, I just prayed for relief. And again, it wasn't exactly in the form I thought it would come, but it did come. And it it gave me a few hours of rest where my brain could be more clear, where my emotions could be less at the at the surface, and I could start thinking through what our next steps were. I could start processing conversations and asking questions that we needed answers to. And that leads me into I talked a little bit about my niece, but man, the second family. Whew! How important that was for me that week. Caretaking exposes relationships, y'all. Who shows up? Who disappears? Who wants control versus who offers support? And it's tragic. Honestly tragic. The impact that can have some for so many caretakers. And I'm extremely grateful that I'm not one of them now. My brother and his family, my nieces and nephews, they live 1200 miles away, so they're not here physically to relieve me or step in and balance difficult times and difficult situations with me in person. But man, the support that they have been over the phone and the space that they give me to break down when I need to, to vent when I need to, to even laugh as I find joy in this process, which I'll talk a little bit more about in a few minutes. But for me, my brother will always say I'm barely toeing the line over here, and what he doesn't realize is he's towing the biggest line possible for me to be my safe space to go through, go to in this process. And my niece was very much that this week. My mom was in the hospital as well. And and they both have been since in checking on us and seeing how things are settling down since being back home. But caregivers with shared responsibility report significantly lower burnout rates than solo caregivers. Your family isn't just blood, either. I had families show up for me that week. The ones who are here physically and provide meals for my dad in the and I. While we were in the hospital with mom who provided prayers, who provided support, who dropped off a bag of snacks for us to have in the hospital, who said, if you need me to come sit with you so you can take a few hours of reprieve, I've got you, I have an incredible family by blood and by choice, and they stepped up and stepped in when I was exhausted emotionally, physically and financially that week. The weight of the finances, which I'm about to jump into as well. But caretaking was never meant to be done alone. And if you are a caretaker who feels like you're alone. Have you had those conversations? Have you told your family blood and by choice where you need help and where they can step in? And if you have and they haven't shown up, or if you don't have that option, I challenge you to look into your community. There are so many programs and so many support systems that are there. I when I became a caretaker, I found out how many people in my circle in my life are living the caretaking journey, or who have in the past, and the amount of information that they have shared with me, the way they have lifted me up, the way that they have inspired me, the way that they have poured into me when my cup was beyond empty, is absolutely a blessing. Don't stay in a place where you're struggling alone because you think there isn't help. Ask for it. And if you need help in finding those resources, please reach out to me and I will help connect you with some places I found support through. If you're a memory care caretaker like myself through the Alzheimer's Association and so many other amazing groups, I will share with you people I follow on social media that have been life changers, game changers for me, and help you to find the support that might be available for you. But just don't think you're in this alone because you're not there. There are so many people walking the same journey. There are so many people that you can lean on, so many programs that can offer support. And oftentimes we stay stuck, either because we don't know that they're available or because asking for help is weakness. But carrying this burden alone will absolutely burn you out, and it's imperative that you understand that, and that asking for help is actually a strength and not a weakness, because you need to be at your best to offer the kind of caregiving that I'm absolutely positive is important to you. So what's the third F? It's finances. What removes unnecessary stress. Money doesn't fix grief, but it amplifies or relieve stress one or the other. The lack of it amplifies it, and the presence of it can help to relieve some of the stress. 78% of caregivers pay out of pocket for care related expenses and the average caregiver. Caregiver spends over $7,000 a year on direct costs. Lack of planning leads to reactive decisions and depleted savings. Finances aren't about being rich, they're about being prepared. Cashflow protection and planning create breathing room when everything else feels tight. And this was such a huge factor for me this week. And again, I will go into more detail in these areas in the future episodes for sure about the path we were on during this week. But in short, I had doctors telling me the best place for my mom was a care facility. It was the safest for her and the safest for us. And as I started down that path of researching what that looked like, the one stress I didn't have was financial because my parents, my parents were savers. And we planned well when mom got her diagnosis. So I wasn't worried about the money. I was just worried about making the decision. And it took me about 24 hours to say, no, we're not going that route. That is not what we want, and we're going to figure this out for as long as possible. But to not be weighed down and stressed out by the cost. If we were to go that direction, or the cost of anything throughout that entire week was an absolute relief with the burden and the weight of everything else, to have been wondering how we were going to be able to make it work financially would have been. Just overwhelming. And so for those of you who are in those situations, um, again, resources, tapping into resources, knowing what's available. And for those of you who are in those situations that don't feel like finances are set up right? Or for those of you who are caretakers. I hope you're realizing the amount of planning you need to do for yourself in the future so that your family doesn't carry that financial stress, because it can be the most, oh, just the most, the heaviest of all the burdens to carry. And if you don't have to carry that burden, the harder decisions are just a little bit lighter because finance isn't a concern. So I challenge you to make sure that your loved ones are prepared to the best of your ability to. Most importantly, make sure that you're prepared. And if you have questions in that area again, please reach out to me. Services that are available, the work that I do as a financial professional, and how I might be able to help you, all of those things are on the table. Just don't carry that burden of financial Stress because you think there's no other option there. There are a lot of programs, options and things available, and it's important that you check into them so that as you're caretaking, you know what resources you have. You know what moves to make you know, what phone calls to to make. And, you know, through this process, I realize that even though we're not taking the steps to putting mom in a facility, it's a process I need to go through to identify if and when that time ever does come. We have identified where we want her to be and what those costs are, so that we're not having to make a spur of the moment decision, which I thought we were going to have to make for a 24 hour, um, time frame. I thought, I've got to figure this out in the next 72 hours. And while I wasn't worried about the money, having to figure out where the best place is and the best care for my mom in a 72 hour window of time was daunting. And so that's still something I'm going to be going through over the next couple of months to know that we have that checked off. And if we do end up in that situation, we know exactly what we want to do, and we don't have the burden of trying to figure it out in a small window of time. Okay. So fitness ooh, let's get into this fourth f how you survive physically and mentally. Caretakers often neglect their bodies first and pay for it later. If you've listened to my episode, I don't know which one it is. I didn't look it up before this, so I'm not very prepared in that. But I did an episode a few months back about my health journey this last year, and that I had put myself on the back burner when I became a caretaker. And suddenly, a little over a year ago, I woke up realizing if I don't do something to take care of my mental and physical health, then I'm going to be of no service to anyone. And so that that put me on the trajectory of really shifting things around, um, physically and mentally for myself. Y'all, chronic stress weakens the immune system. Sleep deprivation increases anxiety and decision errors. Caregivers have higher rates of hypertension and exhaustion. Fitness isn't about vanity. When you're a caretaker, it's about that capacity that you need to show up well to provide the care, the best care possible when you're a caretaker. Movement, rest, nutrition and mental health support are not survival. Our survival tools, not luxuries. Let me say that again. Movement, rest, nutrition and mental health support are survival survival tools, not luxuries. Since being home from the hospital, we did have one rough day. It was in the first couple of days that that mom was home and. And let me just say that we're in a really good place now. We've found a really good new norm. We've got meds adjusted and we're managing well. But we did have one rough day where again, my mom was on the floor and I just sat with her. I made sure she was safe, nothing around her. She wasn't going to get hurt and I just sat with her for about an hour or so until she calmed down enough that I could help her. And I physically, with my mom not flexing a single muscle to assist me, I physically had to lift her off the ground. And remember I said my mom's £195, I am £175. Um, a little over a year ago, where I was at physically, I don't think I could have done that. And so I'm grateful for my body. I'm grateful for the journey I took. I'm grateful for the realization, a little over a year ago, that something had to change so that I could be the caregiver and I could do what I needed to do for my mom when the time came, because that time has come and it will continue to show up throughout this process. So for me to be physically strong and physically able to care for her and assist her is important. And it's going to save money for me to be able to do things for her, instead of having to hire somebody else to come in and do it. So please, as a caretaker, pay attention to filling your own cup in whatever areas you need to to make sure that you can show up well for your loved one that you're caring for. And the fifth is fun. How you stay human through this process. This one surprises people, but it is so important it matters deeply. Fun isn't disrespectful to hardship. It's defiance against burnout. Laughter, joy and moments of normalcy. Reduce cortisol, improve emotional resilience, and remind you that your identity is bigger than the season you're currently in. If you lose joy, you lose yourself, and caretaking needs you to be whole there. There are so many moments that I'm in and I think, oh my gosh. And then when the moment subsides and I've had a chance to step away from it, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, sometimes a few days later, I'll look back and I can find so much humor in this season that we're in the way my mom will defiantly refuse to do things. And you know, ironically, while it's still difficult, I don't know if it's ironic or not, but while it's still difficult, I am the one person my mom will do the most for. And I'll give you an example. We were in when she was in the hospital. We we got there one morning and I would always ring the nurses button to see how things went overnight. Did they order her breakfast? Had she already had her meds? So I just kind of knew where we were starting from for the day. And the nurse comes in and she's like, no, I did not give her her meds while I tried, but she was spitting them back out at me, and now my mom was restrained up until the day she came home from the hospital again because she was trying to tear out her IVs. So it was a safety issue. She was trying to tear out her IVs and get herself out of bed so she couldn't move her arms. And so the nurse is trying to get my mom to take her pills, my mom spitting them back at her, and she's trying to kick her. And so, um, that may not sound humorous to you guys. Um, and but even the nurse was kind of chuckling as she told me, and I said, oh, okay. I said, well, if you want to bring her meds in, you know, I'll, I'll give them to her. And she's like, okay, I don't know if this is gonna work out. We might have to order him to be administered through his IV, her IV, and I said, no, no, just bring them in. And so the nurse comes back a few minutes later with my mom's med, scans them in and everything, and then hands me the little cup with the pills in it. And I say to my mom, okay, mom, it's time to take your pills. And she says, okay. Took her pills without a single argument. And the nurse just stood there and looked at me. Now here's the thing. Our people will do things for us they won't do for others. That's the truth of it. But I'm sitting there thinking, oh my gosh, my mom literally is throwing a temper. I could picture when my son was like two and throwing a temper tantrum and I'm I pictured that being my mom that morning and then laughed about how easily she took the meds for for me. Now it's a blessing that most of the time she'll take him for me. Although I'll tell you yesterday she try not to take her pills and, uh, literally bit one in half and spit it out on the kitchen floor. So it's not just the nurses she's resistant to. Um. But now I find humor in those moments because, gosh dang it. It's not my mom, and that's depressing. It is sad to see someone you love disappear in so many ways, and their their persona completely change and it will break you if that's what you stay focused on. But to think about my mom, who was so stubborn and so determined and that is 100% honestly where I get it from, resort to little fits here and there and and the temper tantrums that she does is is comical and a reminder that I have become the parent in this situation. And so you got to find humor in that. I mean, it would be so easy to get frustrated, so easy to just detach, so easy to shut down, so easy to put them someplace and let somebody else take care of them because it's hard. Or you can find the joy in the fact that they're still here and that you do. My mom does still have moments of clarity that are sweet and fun, and being able to find humor in the hard. You know, I'll step away and sometimes have a conversation with my boyfriend or my dad, and we're just giggling over something that was a complete frustration for us or my mom just a few minutes earlier. But it's what gets us through it. What it's what keeps us ready for the next time. And when you are facing the heaviness of caretaking and you can think about the humor, it's your lifeline in so many situations. Caretaker burnout isn't caused by lack of love, y'all. It's caused by lack of systems. So as I wind down this episode, I want to talk about those. The lack of systems. No financial plan, no boundaries, no backup, no conversations ahead of time. Love alone cannot sustain long term care, but systems can. Those systems intertwined with the desire to be a caretaker, the love of the person, the love you have for the person that you're caretaking for, tied to the systems. That's the key systems in your home about when things happen, how they happen, when medications get delivered, uh, administered. What medications? Asking the questions of the doctors, the appointments, the phone calls. There is so much on that caretaker plate. You've got to build systems around it. One of the things I did from coming out of the hospital is I realized that we all have to have jobs, and my job is the caretaker. And I told my dad, dad, I am the caretaker. When mom is in a moment, I need my voice to be the only voice that's heard. And I know that's hard for you because you want to help, but I. I need my voice to be the only voice. Because the more voices coming at her, the more confused she gets. The more combative she gets, the more frustrated she gets. I said, I just need you to be her husband. And then I told my boyfriend, babe, I need you to be my dad's buddy when things are going on with mom and he has to step back and that's hard for him and need you to help distract him. Watch out for him in those moments, and we're all still learning how to step into our roles and get better at them, but we're moving in that direction, and it's been a big part of managing the systems that we had before, the new ones we've had to put in place since mom's been home from the hospital and managing our own mindsets and emotions. My prayer is that this series will support you by helping you feel seen and not judged, by helping you feel supported and not isolated by helping you feel equipped, not overwhelmed. Each episode is going to dive a lot deeper into each of the five F's with story, strategy, and real talk from someone who's walking this journey alongside you. If you're a caretaker or love someone who is, please subscribe to this podcast. Share this series. Send this episode to the sibling, the friend, or the partner that needs to hear. You're not weak, you're navigating something big. And if you don't have a plan yet, now is the time to start the conversation. You can reach out to me through the link in the show notes, and I would love to set up time to have a conversation, to see how I can support you through the work that I do, or I can get you tapped into some of the resources that are out there that can help make the weight that you're carrying just a little bit lighter. My hot take for the week is caretaking doesn't break you unprepared. Caretaking does. Strength isn't suffering silently. Strength is asking for help early and often. Strength is building systems before you collapse. You don't earn a medal for burnout. You earn peace through preparation. If today's episode lit a fire in you again, please share it with somebody who is carrying the weight of caretaking or who is supporting somebody that is the caretaker, or who thinks that they would be a caretaker in the future, or somebody that needs to be prepared for their own caretaking in the future. As always, you can message me on LinkedIn or Instagram and tell me your biggest takeaway from this episode, what you're most looking forward to hearing about in this series together, let's keep building wealth, wisdom, and wins. And until next time, protect your peace, protect your people, and protect your wealth.